Back in the day, you used to know who to call on when life decides to make a downpour visit you. You've been gone 6 months and you find that the city has changed. Alone. Utterly alone. That is a realization that hits you hard. While you've gotten quite used to it, it's just not the same when you need a listening ear. Sure you could go back to the den, but that bottle of beer won't answer you. Only listen. Sure, you've learned that when people need someone to listen, they also want someone to talk to, to respond. It spells all the difference in the world, especially on times like this.
Now, who do you call? Everyone's moved on with their lives, and your closest friends live farthest from you. Mull over the irony of that. You've changed numbers too many times and downsized your contacts in the process. Everyone's out for their own good, anyway. That was a hard lesson. Life was easy, but that's all in the past now. When it rains, it pours and what love you hold for the rain is now replaced by mild disdain.
You've always been a fighter. You fought out of faith, but now you fight out of pride. Whether you like it or not, it's one of the last things that you cling to. If giving up means losing face, then you'd rather fight. You'd rather fight than feel their pity. But if one day you break down, you'll do it with your head held high. You did your best, fighting off the inevitable defeat. You did what you could to survive.