I was told by a friend I had gone to a night-out with that I looked schoolboy-straight the night before. I knew that, of course. Simple polos are a safe masquerade I don when I'm not feeling my most attractive mojo. They are a shield and a sanctuary. The old, but rather new-looking, checkered polo from the now absent biological father, was deemed too straight, literally and figuratively. I smiled as I recalled how two years ago, I would've worn something different, one that tangoed upon and within the immediate borders of what is considered straight and gay by the unenlightened and simplistic homophobic society.
|Circa 2009 Schoolboy Princeling|
My friend called my hair too schoolboy, and that I should have it cut in a more sophisticated way. I told him it was different when it was shorter and recently shorn. I've learned over the years that my hair always found ways to end up looking a particular way two months after being cut, regardless of how it was cut before. If anything, I'm happy that my hair finds ways to be thick and dark and long, and that it seems quite resolved not to recede, something I'm really, really thankful for. It's also one reason why I'm wary of having it shaved off my head. I was semi-kal back in the years of innocence and yore. I suspect that should I attempt to relive those days at the expense of my locks, my hair, in all its hairy sentience might resent it, but that's mostly my eccentric and over-imaginative paranoia speaking.
|At one point they reached past my lower lip.|
From my sophomore year in high school up until a few years back, I was so adamant at growing my hair long. Looking back, I present my then-teacher who was as cool, laid-back, yet terribly smart as one could possibly get. I wanted to be like him. The hair thing was just icing on the influential cake that he was, though, Physics and Math and Science and even computer games(Ragnarok, Rok On!) became part of my to-ace list, which, for all intents and purposes, I did manage to fulfill. In many ways, he was a role-model, and a goal, something that those around me noticed unconsciously over time. In a few months time, people(students and teachers) would tell me that I looked like him, and often confused us for the one another, especially when viewed from afar, and on rare cases, even those near us got confused. This lasted until my senior year, and even beyond it. Facebook comments meant for the other often found their way into our profiles, which was a funny reason for several profile picture changes, and on the rare times that they don't, note of our similarities would still be aired from time to time.
A few months back, I decided I had too much of the pestering of my damned University's 'Rules and Regulations' to get my hair cut short, since it apparently interferes with effective learning, I decided to cut it short. Man, those priests must've thought long hair is hindrance to effective and holier-than-thou enlightenment from a greater power that gave them license to be, well, holier than everyone else, but I digress. What's funny is that my teacher decided to sport a shorter do at around the same time, too. The same decision brought out more of our physical differences, too, and thus, people stopped confusing us for each other, but they still commented how we could be the other's dead ringer from the right distance, even with lesser hair.
|Now you see it...|
|...now you don't!|
I guess some things never change, just like my eternal feeling of being at the mercy of the barber whenever I have my hair cut. I just hate looking or seeming like an ignoramus, so whenever they ask me how I wanted my hair cut, I just tell them to trim the sides and whatever needs trimming. That could easily be paraphrased into have mercy on me, really, and each and every time I hope my present Sweeney Todd would get the cue. Over the years, my barber experiences and hair troubles and non-troubles taught me a valuable life lesson: live with the cut life makes, things get better over time, like awkward do's eventually becoming something quite good. Besides, maybe schoolboy cuts are for me, I just have to figure out how to work, or someday, I might try something new, and find it just right for me, but I suppose que sera sera works for now.