Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pilgrim Perils

I find people who seem like they might listen to both my silence and my tales, and though they seem petty and trivial and transient, they listen still. Yet at times like this, I wonder,

where have they gone to, those who once swore they'd stay.

Or at least that was how it seemed then. Perhaps it is best for me to learn and to get used to the comfort, though little, that my self can give to my self as I am constantly reminded by my circumstances.

Pilgrims shall always come my way, a pauper prince, a pilgrim, myself, and for a time, they'll share my hearth with me, and play audience to what tales I weave, and so, for a moment, solitude basks in the presence of company.

But it is a spell, and lasts only for a day, a week, or a season. In the end, they shall leave, as they often do, in my sleep, or when my back is turned, and flee under the cover of the dark moon.

In strange lands, there are no ghosts of friends to call, from both memory and the beyond. The rocks, the stars, the fire, they keep me company.

The fire neither dims, nor has its warmth diminished, but the chill seeps through my bones and into my marrows. Solitude is colder when it strikes unlooked for.

Is it really too hard to have someone to talk to?

The photo was snatched from this place


  1. sometimes, the hardest person to talk to is yourself. you get all sorts of crazy stuff. i feel like this post came from a pretty dark place and i find that beautiful.

    people will come and go. it sucks but it's a reality we have to understand so we can make the most of every situation.


  2. kahit na lagi ako nahihirapan makinig sayo.. makikinig pa din... hehehe

  3. Nyl: Nyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyl! Welcome back! :D Yeah, this post did come from a dark place. I wrote it in my room first as a long, long line on weird angles on a bondpaper. I wanted to write, literally, and then this came to mind. Thanks for finding this beautiful. And as for that life lesson from citybuoy(tm), I'll keep that in mind. Without the echos. ;)

    Kamila: you know, your comments brighten my day. Haha. Para kang little miss sunshine! :D And thanks for that. :)

  4. But we do listen. Your letters are your confessions. :)

  5. Thank you, Mugen. At least I know this space will reach some ears. Now, if only the same thing happened outside the blog, in the corporeal world, things would be marginally better. Still, thank you. It's really appreciated. :)

  6. There is a world of difference between listening and comprehending. One could easily listen; but to understand, to empathize, to command cognizance of the sentiments of another, requisites a depth of knowing beyond what this frail and oft superficial medium can afford. Still, a few linger. Maybe there's a deeper reason why few do, so one can sift out those that do not warrant attention.

    Of course, we will never be able to completely grasp the narrative of your predicament, mere audience that we are, but we can, for a while, keep you company. And sometimes, that suffices.

    We all have our own crosses to bear. Maybe there's a poetic justice in that, being somewhat, circumstances allow, in the same hole.

    Cold, dank and jagged at times; protected, shielded and hidden in others.