Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Ugly by Choice

Tuesday noon saw the return of a wimpy kid from high school. Many a time have I looked at frozen mementos from that time and wonder how I managed then. Why did things matter now? Maybe it's an inevitable part of growing up, getting conscious of how other people see you. Then again, I've always been guarded, I suppose I just...widened my horizons, albeit in  a twisted not-so-twisted way.

It amazes me how people can be tactless at the wrong times. My patience, being not spun from Rumplestiltskin's spinning wheel, is neither golden nor seemingly endless. It is not perfectly homogeneous, too, and as such, is thinner at some places and thicker at others. Use the right shear at the right place and I might snap at once, unleashing spite and enmity from an abyss rarely seen. Do note that there is no pattern to this trait. It is forever at the mercy of Fate. It can be beyond my control, too, but the years have taught me the skill of holding my tongue and staying my hand.

So, yes, dear friends, by virtue of wanting to rediscover innocence lost, I now am a physical avatar of my past. So please, should you beg to differ, I'd appreciate it if you master your mouths and present it in ways unhurtful, or better yet, be a paragon of blessed silence. Remember: it is my past you insult if you assassinate my character, at least for the moment, and for the foreseeable future. Know that the past I embody at present is a better man than who I am now. Leave me be, I seek to find such strength and confidence once more, that I may be empowered to face the looming trials ahead. If this simple request shall fall upon ears feigning deafness, or encounter selfish hearts, alas the absence of empathy! You were warned!

But really, seriously, I chose to have my hair cut as I did then: plain, unassuming, and unflattering. I, too, was aware when I feasted upon my secret banquets that the weight of the price I was bound to pay would come and haunt me eventually. I now suffer the weight of my sins.

But really, seriously, the enigma of the suddenly-fatter-cheeks and the curious case of the once-prominent-but-now-disappearing jawline aren't your mysteries to solve. They're mine. They really aren't mysteries, silly. But I digress.  How are you doing in life right now? What do you think does the future hold in store for you? These are the mysteries life has for you. Get over the little choices I make and try making yours - I'm sure your life would turn out to be as colorful, if not more, than mine!

Really now, right now, just get over it. I am ugly by choice.


The return of the comeback of the snotty spiral prince-ling!
At least until he grows his hair back and loses weight.

7 comments:

  1. Shakespear is dat you?? :) Is this about your hair cut or something else?? :) hahaha

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  2. it's about me getting insulted(something i strongly feel that i did not deserve) without warning, Kamila. pero I'm over it already. still, i'm happy i got it out of my system.

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  3. OK fine hindi namin lalaitin! hehehe...

    Ikaw ba yung naka-red?

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  4. this post reminds me of my ugly series...

    :)

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  5. glentot: pfffffft. pwede pa rin naman akong laitin(of fine, slight lang), wag mo lang akong durugin at tapak-tapakan kasi siguradong babangon ako't dudurugin kita!!! hahahaha

    yep, ako yan. isang monster(aw, pokemon nalang)! hahahaha

    geek: now I'm all interested! I will read them as soon as I can! :3

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  6. Ah but you are after all a prince. And being such royalty, these insecurities should be transformed for the betterment.

    Losing weight? You can do it.

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