Sunday, November 14, 2010

Psyche I: A.B.O.D.

A bag of disappointments, that's what I am.

Although I suppose it's a natural reaction to abhor the doll that is flawed. Andy Davis wouldn't have wanted his Buzz Lightyear with a broken wing. Once more I am immersed in Sheriff Woody's melancholia, his disappointment. I comprehend it in ways I haven't before. Who wouldn't question their self-worth when they are left behind? So much for holding back, Spiral Prince. The next time someone comes along, make sure you check  that the locks, double-locks, and that gray vault are really locked up. A barrier around your isle would do, too. 

I'm not really sure if getting to laugh at my woes now is a good sign. Am I optimistic that something good, and hopefully better, will come off it? Or is it because I've lost hope in something good, and fair, and profound. I hope it's the former. Having people leave my life
hurts to an extent. Then again, it's the people who stay that matters, right? If anything, I guess it's a sign that I shouldn't expect much. Not from people. They're fickle and they have issues. We're all fickle and we all have issues. I've got to take things as they come, and accept that some things are bound to go. I guess I could think of it this way: maybe, just maybe, having people leave me doesn't mean that I'm the one with issues. I mean, we all have them, but maybe their issues are greater in number and severity.

A bag of disappointments, that's what I am.

Or probably not. 

I suppose this doll's flaws aren't things that can't be smoothed out. Maybe, just maybe, I'm a sculpture waiting to break free from my block of rock. Yes, yes. One day I'll be a lean, mean, Greek-god machine. But before that I have to carve myself out of this rut rock, yes? So go, me! One day time and experience and great effort from me will weather them away and I'll hopefully look back at this point in time with a smile and a dash of disbelief - man, I was that angsty?

 A bag of disappointments, that's what I am.

Actually, no. I'm a bag of potential. Chaotic, yes, but good and fair in its own way.

One day, some day, the tangled whorls and knots will unravel themselves and manifest the greater design they are part of.

*photo taken from here

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