Monday, November 29, 2010

Empire State of Mind

Everyone, please meet my good friend, school mate, and 'ate', Ma. Laurice Jamero! She has a very good voice and I first heard her sing when her band, Emanon, sang during the acquaintance party of my sophomore. I've been hooked since then! She's also very intelligent aside from being talented - she's the batch valedictorian and a cum laude graduate from Ateneo's BS Physics program. I hope those who'll read this will take time to listen to her! 


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Dawn Ramble: "Talagang product ka nang public school."/ "You really are a product of a public school."

If this person's life were to turn upside-down, I doubt he'd survive poverty. Right now, my ire is too overwhelming for me to write a coherent post. This comment is an eye-opener. I knew that privileged people tend to look down on the less privileged ones, but this one is just too much. It reeks of arrogance, indifference, and selfishness. The quoted part is in itself enough to not only raise eyebrows but also heat hearts, too. Coming from a public school, I always took pride in the fact that the experiences related to material lack which I went through in high school will not be surpassed by those gone through by students from private schools. Why? Because those things were a taste of the hardships poverty dumps on the shoulders of the poor and the less privileged. It opened me to the realities of the world. Suffice to say that it drastically decreased my being materialistic. It introduced me to the bliss that comes from helping people. Nothing can compare with that good feeling after helping someone out. I am not talking about material help - I'm talking about all forms of help that we can give to our less privileged brothers and sisters.

Before I encountered that post above, I was really uninterested in the terms 'capitalist' and 'capitalism', now it's an entirely different story. The link above will direct you to an article which is ire inducing. I could care less for all the books the author and his supporters have read, and all the articles he's written. I think what matters most when one aims to better the society he lives in is his ability to empathize and provide solutions. There are always exceptions to the rules, especially when the rules are made by humans - imperfect, and as my Economy teacher put it, "self-interested." It is no wonder therefore that Mother Theresa, Ghandi, and a lot of other people, are revered. It takes a lot to transcend over one's wants and reach out to help those in need of help.

We are a nation in need of change. We are a nation of democracy. We are a nation of people with different interests and perspective, we should all then work together instead of bicker with each another to find the middle ground between a lot of extremes. We have no right to belittle others because of their backgrounds. We have no right to act high and mighty because we are in positions of wealth and power. We have no right to drag other people down. We have no right ground others to dust. No. We have no right to claim superiority over others when our own existences are mere fruits of chance. Chance it was that we championed over others during the race to the egg cell. Chance it was that we were born healthy. Chance it was that we have our senses intact. Chance it was that we were born with silver or rusted spoons in our mouths. Everything we possess was at the mercy of Chance at one or many points in time. Sure, others may claim to have bettered their lives through their efforts, but even then, their success was a product of chance. Had one variable been off, who knows how things may have turned out for them?

Chance. That is what people are asking for - better chances. A chance to at least be in control over one crucial variable for success - Education. I myself am against all forms of unessential budget cuts to the education sector, having experienced the many short-comings brought about by corruption and inefficient management within and without the educational system, but I digress. My point here is that in the debate of the merits and demerits of this budget cut, let us all not hit below the belt. Name-callings and labels and prejudice will only get you nowhere nearer towards the best possible middle ground for all.

In a matter that requires critical thinking and analysis, I think we're all doing a bad job, however in the area of passionate teleserye-esque catfights, I think we're winging it. Now more than ever are we in need of minds who think outside the box, failing that, we need those who can and will think analytically.

We need to open and broaden our minds, lest we become trapped in a stalemate: a stalemate with progress.


Sorry folks, I had to let that out. "Talagang product ka nang public school." Seriously. How close-minded can people get?

From my Facebook

Friday, November 26, 2010

Lusternia WIP: Night Fae

Lusternia Artisanal WIP for November. I do hope I finish at least one of them! I'll be trying to color them this time using vectors, something I rarely do. These are just rough sketches - hopefully when I get back to Bohol, I get to make better versions using Photoshop. At least this time, I'll be using vectors, which are easier when using a mouse(Dear Santa, please send this Spiral Princeling a tablet, or at least let his father decide on giving him what he asked for - something he hasn't done for year!).

This might be self-aggrandizing, but, I just love how my scanned letters came out. I do love using good pens! I also love the quality of the scanned image. I'll be asking the same cafe to scan for me in the future! I also hope to get the slaugh's smirk right. The same goes for her eyes. That barghest sketch...I dunno what to make of it.

Monday, November 22, 2010

False Portrait

False Portrait by ~twofacesandaheart on deviantART


I was playing around in DeviantartMURO when I decided to practice. I wanted to make a self-portrait, but I doubt this looks like me. He looks too japanase/korean/chinese? I dunno, but his eyes are a bit too chinky to look like me. Or something. His proportion isn't perfect, either. Ah, well. I got to practice more! On the plus side, I've gotten more comfortable with using a mouse when drawing. I just need to get better at it.

Brain Fart: II

When we stop trying hard, we become sincere.


Another random brain fart, this time, I'm talking about the Pinoy slang 'trying hard',
which is of course different from doing one's best.


Happy New Year to Victor!

Ties and Memories

Should a man bound to leave make more ties?
Shouldn't he make memories instead?
Memories and ties, they seem the same,
Indeed they are, but wholly, not
For memories are memories,
And ties, are ties,
The other is a memento,
The other, a chain,
Mayhap they are sides of the same coin,
Viewed from different times,
One seen from the future,
The other, from the past,
One is a memento,
The other is a chain.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Star-eyes, Jester Crown and a Spiral Prince

At times when loneliness presents his company uncalled for, and brings with him melancholia fair and wistful, I tell myself,

Silent Jester by ~MantraV on deviantART

"At least you're anything but ordinary...

We're All Mad Here by *behindinfinity on deviantART

We then dine and while the time away, under the dome of the sky - day and night and twilight. Our happiness is quiet and subtle, but even then we pay no heed to depression and suffering, late and uninvited, whose knocks, though loud and distracting for a short while, eventually fade into the background. 
And thus wan serenity swathes us once more. 

But dreams fade away, swept off by time and waking.

There are rare times when waking brings with it a single moment of clarity, brought about by a deeper understanding of things - of reality. This is the lesson the present brings - live.

Just live.

And so I will. 


If there's anything Cebu has burned into me, I guess the realization of the magnitude of Solitude's power would be among the most prominent ones. The knowledge alone of the solitude I'll be facing when I get back to my room from a small reunion, a night-out, long walks and long travel, is potent enough to make me dread going 'home' unless I'm tired and utterly spent. At least back home, I had my family to keep me company. We may not always agree on things, and yes, my siblings and I oft get ourselves into arguments, but the thing was that I wasn't alone. In my solitude here in Cebu, I have come to dread the future. The shadow of a future alone scares me. I grew up being surrounded by people. I may not have been the best when it came to expressing myself around my immediate family, but I still felt secure. Being alone makes you feel vulnerable. Helpless. Naked and there for all the world to molest. Devour. It is during times like these I really wish I could go out more with my highschool friends, but sadly our schedules tend to conflict. Or at least do things other than sit and stare in my room. It drains me and renders me uninspired. I end up being unable to draw. Even reading becomes bland. I end up envying those who get to hang out with their friends and classmates - I am literally alone in Talamban because all our other classmates who used to reside here have left. And as for those who reside in Cebu, let's just say their families aren't exactly that open-minded to allow their sons and daughters to go out even during weekends except on official school activities. Sigh.

I should really take to heart what our Economics teacher said last week. It was basically something along the lines of life turning out for the better one day and that we should bide our time, if we must, and endure our frustrations. Pleasure and leisure must, if they can, wait.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Earlier today, boredom forced me to go away from USC's immediate vicinity in order to escape the pollution and the heat, and well, boredom itself. I finally got my hair cut and was loath to part with my hair. It has always been this dream of mine to sport long hair at least once in my life. Besides, it suits me more. I immediate went to National Bookstore as soon as I was finished, but I didn't really have anything in mind. My wandering feet took me to the non-fiction section, which I don't normally visit, and I chanced upon a big book on Origami. I hooked even before I read it, and I had to restrain myself from buying it on impulse since a good chunk of my allowance would've been sliced off. I had to be content with just reading it, and I hope it's still there when I get to visit again.

I fell in love with Origamis when I was still an elementary student and I really enjoyed making them during art class and during those saturdays and sundays I get to be alone with myself and our arts and crafts book at home. It was bliss. I'm afraid the passion for it went dormant until earlier today. It's re-emergence brought with it an idea, too: I thought of giving away origamis to friends this Christmas. I think it's sweet, plus the gifts come with a  personal touch,too. This would also be the first time for me to give something that didn't come from my parent's money. I really hope I could push through with this, so you better stay there, Origami book!


Hello, boredom, we meet again.

 I miss Panglao.

I miss this place in South Cebu.

I want to be anywhere but this cafe. I might as well be a mall rat for the afternoon.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Disaster Averted

Thanks to random chance and mindless internet wandering ultd., I have finally found a layout to my liking. This is called Cellar Heat Light. Thank you, Evan Eckard, for allowing the css and htmlically challenged to get such beautiful layouts. I do think that this one serves my OC-ness - just look at those clean lines in perfect harmony with the grunge art! Bliss! For those of you who read my blog, please answer the poll at the bottom of the page - it just takes a single click. Thank you. If any of you have other thoughts, don't hesitate to comment. I'm glad to finally be rid of this nagging thought in my mind.

Disaster averted, indeed.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Yuki-onna by ~twofacesandaheart on deviantART

So I got bored at the Internet Cafe on a sunday afternoon and decided to play around using DeviantART Muro. This is so relaxing. It looks small, but it's actually a large image - I believe viewing the full image will do it justice. I particularly like how the face turned out. Lord knows I rarely get faces right.


Psyche I: A.B.O.D.

A bag of disappointments, that's what I am.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Silence: I

There was a time when we could talk of things under the sky without a care in the world. We explored the landscape of our respective dreams, and our fears. We never discussed our tears. No. We neither shed or shared them. There was no need, after all. We discussed our hurts, yes, yours more than mine. Your eyes were windows to a  sad soul. Your skin was fair, but your soul weathered storms that bent your mindset. It almost broke your ability to trust. Your voice was soft, but I knew you hardened your heart for quite a while; it was quiet and your opinions agreeable, but I heard the defiance when you spoke. You were young, but I saw how withered you were inside. 

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


My blog's layout is, as of the moment, an aesthetic disaster.

Everything just seems too big.

Experiments are not without risks. Disasters are not without solutions.

OPLAN Blogfix has just started.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

On Timing and Initiative

Dear First,

Lady Gaga sang it best:

You should've made some plans with me,
you knew that I was free.
And now you won't stop calling me;
I'm kinda busy.

Monday, November 8, 2010

The [][][][][]: II

Years, like tides, have swept the world. I am one of the few who remain unchanged. Fewer still are we with good intentions. Of those with intent conflicting ours, seven siblings together, my cousins, kin and foe, are to you well known.


My heart years for its end;my verve fails me.
The well is dry.


Sunday, November 7, 2010


When life doesn't give you lemons, look for oranges. Or apples. Or passion fruit.

I'm back at Cebu again. This time, I have a plan. I really, really, really hope things work out. This time, I'll do more than just wishful thinking. I hope I get to actualize things - that's the only way for me to climb back up and out of this rut I'm in. I want to be more than some eighteen year old reeking idealism and lacking action. I even placed my plan in my blog to serve as a constant reminder when things get bleak. In the long run, I just want to be happy and content. My self pep talk aside, I'm glad that my return to Cebu has been good, what with the company of my highschool batchmates - friends dearest to me. I've spoken with them at length regarding my situation and plans over the past few weeks, and I'm glad that they managed to knock sense and hope into me.

Surprises are twice as exciting when they come unexpected.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Dawn Ramble: Nagging Change

Nagging doesn't get people to do what you want. If anything, all it accomplishes is to have people conclude that your thinking is like clockwork: boring and repetitive. People will inevitably start training themselves to be deaf to you. Over time, the recipient learns to be impervious to you as a whole.

Nagging is rarely effective. It is not a way to get things done. It is destructive for both the nagger and the person getting nagged on. I am prone to flaring up if someone nags me, but I try really hard to hold back. If there's one good thing that has come out of this thrice-cursed act, it's how it lets me exercise patience. Actually, screw that. The one great thing out of nagging is that I get to learn new ways to feign deafness with the slightest hints of defiance and sardonicism. The greatest downside is that it also trickles down the crevices of my acid-tripped mind and heart into the black pools of my ire.

I sometimes fear my potential for rage. It is finite, yes, but there are moments when I find myself holding myself back from doing things which could drag me into something ugly, and it is during these moments when I get a glimpse of the immensity of all the anger, of all the hate, of all the negativity I've kept in check through the years using my winning combination of a happy demeanour interspersed with moodswings and emotional outbursts.

I fear the day I see red, before everything fades to black while I waltz my wrath away.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

The [][][][][] : I

Twilight stars twinkled silver-blue in the mauve sky. I was by the roadside, fornlorn, swathed in the shade of the trees, but there was quiet happiness about me.

I was happy.

Did you see it then, my quiet bliss? I'd like to think you did. That's just how I am. I am not blind to the worst. I look past it.

I see the best.

Years, like tides, have swept the world. I am one of the few who remain unchanged. Fewer still are we with good intentions.  Of those with intent  conflicting ours, seven siblings together, my cousins, kin and foe, are to you well known.


I was supposed to finish yesterday afternoon, 
but I lost my verve when I learned one of my highschool teachers,
Ma'am Neneng, died after fighting against cancer for several months.

Writing the full title would spoil the entire story, I believe, 
so I'm leaving it blank for now. I hope I finish this soon.

To Maam Angelita Barcebal, who died yesterday at 3:15 in the morning, 
may you rest in peace. 
Salamat Ma'am Neneng. 
Daghang salamat sa tanan.

Dawn Ramble: On Pageviews

Over the last 12 hours, 63 people visited this blog and checked several old posts. I hope you don't get the wrong ideas. I'm just confused, and slightly amazed. I didn't post anything yesterday and I certainly didn't share links on my facebook profile, or comment in another blog.

I guess people do stumble into our lives without us knowing.