Monday, October 18, 2010

Fuck You

It's rare for me to lose my cool. Growing up agreeing to almost always everything my parents opined has contributed a lot to that. I'm agreeable. I rarely state my opinion unless I think it's necessary. It's not new for me to see myself changing my schedule to fit my friends'. This habit, as with any other habit, is a double-edged sword. I tend to find myself stretching my patience a little longer than what is wise. Mechanics teaches us that stretched things undergo stress, and that there is a limit with which things can be stretched. Whenever I feel I'm approaching my limit, I take deep breaths in an attempt to stretch my patience more. Sadly, when rubber bands get too taut, a sudden movement is all it takes for it to break. I went past my limit a few days ago and I ended up writing what will eventually make up the most of this post. I apologize for the content. Also, since I've released most of my pent-up emotions, I'm okay now. Woo.

***
What is it about me that makes you think I'm ignorant? I see the signs. I observe. I infer. I hope that what conclusions I come up with wrong. Your actions show otherwise.

I think it's high time I give you a piece of my mind. You don't really deserve being the focus of my faculties, but I can't afford to bottle it all up inside and end up in a grumpy disposition daily. You better soak it all up, since it's most likely the last time I'll spend this much effort for You, even if the said effort is, ironically, against You.

Balloons can't expand forever. No, You didn't blow me up to my limit. You made me go way beyond it.

Fool.

Pay the price of a toppling a single domino amidst thousands in an intricate design that traces my potential for Ire.

You. Yes, all of You. This does not go out to one person alone. This goes out to all of You who have transgressed me over the past few months.

This goes out to those of you who I used to be in good terms but have started to and continue to ignore me without warning. What am I? A curio? Fuck, no. And for those that did give me a warning, shame on you. At least show that a friendship that's several years old wasn't for naught. Show that you have backbone. Make a stand. Keep the friendship, even if those dear to you are against it. Then again, I guess that only applied if the friendship really ever meant anything to you. I guess we were merry fools who thought that we shared something important. Or maybe it did mean something to you. But you were too weak to make a stand. Pity. I suppose when one's once spineless, one remains eternally spineless, no matter how hard one tries to conceal it.

This goes out to those of you who could use a good chunk of Tact into your system. Your uncouth mouths jibber away endless strings of insults nonchalantly. Try looking in a mirror - literally and figuratively to see if you even have the license to step on someone else's esteem. Seriously, get a life. Find another hobby besides looking for faults in everyone else. Your foul mouths and fell personas don't do the world any good.

This goes out to those of you who made promises broken from the moment they were uttered. Curse your fell silvertongues and your fair words swathed in honeyed venom. Your grace is a farce unworthy even of loath-spawned spit. May your deeds get back to you seven times more cruel. I curse you even as I gather the shards of my dreams.

To those of you who whose transgressions haven't been accounted for, screw you. I tire of this.

Screw you all.

***

There it goes. Straight from my sketchpad. It's unedited, too. I'm in a better mood now. Hurray vacation.

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