Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Baring Double Entendres

"Tell me, who are you, alone, yourself and nameless?"
-Tom Bombadil to Frodo Baggins
The Lord of the Rings
Book One, Chapter VII
In the House of Tom Bombadil


Who are we when all our personas wither away? Who are we when our souls are bared and brought to light? Who is the phantom when he is unmasked?

It is never easy to live life, it is as fragile as glass dangling by a single hair, and as volatile as gasoline by an open fire. If this is the case, how much more difficult can it become when we start to live double, triple, or even more lives? We swathe ourselves in layers and layers of half-truths that these ultimately become our truths, aside from facades in order to face society and the world. We separate parts of our whole being in an attempt to fit into a potentially discriminating environment, alienating us even to ourselves. Do you know who it is you see in the mirror? Do you know who lives your life everyday? Do you know who talks and stays with the friends you like and those you don't? Do you know who smiles for you when you feel like doing otherwise? Do you know why you're unsure?

It's because we weave
personas into existence. Isolated parts of ourselves tailored to satisfy society's judgemental eye and inculpatory finger depending on the time and situation. When we divide what what is supposed to be a whole, we only get weakened divisions, we get weaker shades of what we could be. Deep down we know this, but we justify our act by believing it will help us survive. Well, while it might help you survive the moment, it won't be able to help you in the long run.

Why do we create these
personas?

The answer is simple: it's because we're all unsure and insecure.

We are all afraid. We fear rejection. We fear isolation. We fear being unwanted. We fear to be unloved. We irrationally fear a million other things every second of our fragile lives. Life is not too short for us to fuss over these things, the Time
allotted for us to live is.

Time spent lamenting the obstacle before us is time wasted. We cannot forever waste ourselves before our fears. They aren't walls that stretch infinitely in all directions, they're walls we can climb over with effort. Courage and strength may initially provide us the vigor to start the long, and usually slow climb, but these alone aren't enough to surpass our fears. If we truly wish to be victorious in this endeavor, we need to reconcile ourselves with our fears. I mean, before we can even attempt to scale the wall, we have to accept the fact that it exists right there before us and that if we truly want to be better persons and become stronger, we have to climb that wall, not go around it - that's evading the problem, which isn't really healthy.

My point here is that we may be able to cloak ourselves in ambiguity, half-truths, lies, and whatever we can think of, but deep down, we have an idea of our true selves, despite all our attempts to hide it.

A box stashed away in a dark corner doesn't disappear, and even when you can't see it, you still know it's there, biding its time until you cannot deny its existence anymore.

2 comments:

  1. To comment, lemme share this line from one of my all-time fave movie called Powder:

    "And then its possible to talk to someone without any lies. With no sarcasms, no deceptions, no exaggerations, or any of the other things people use to confuse the truth."

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