Something I wrote last February in Facebook, in an attempt to channel my disapproval of one of my college blockmate's constant display of arrogance and cockiness and an elitist behavior towards our other classmates. Said classmate is known for his constant attempts to look, sound, and seem better: speak fluently and sound great and expect to see him mimicking you; do things in your signature style and expect him to copy you: see :sentence and paragraph structure, word preference, and over-all style in writing, among other things - common signs of insecurity and lack of creative individuality. I guess what spurred me to write this was his attitude towards our other classmates, more than my annoyance at his constant attempts to mimic my writing style, an acquaintance's accent, and just about every respectable superior/friend's view in life. He tries to make it look like the job's not done well if he doesn't do it. Sure, I can live with that. What I won't let slip is his constant degrading remarks and statements towards our classmates. See? I'm infuriated to the point of writing in circles. Bah. Anyway, I guess he's improved the past few months. I guess I just have to see if the change is lasting.
There is a difference between actually fitting in and trying hard and in vain to fit in. A fine line between genuinely disliking people for who they are and disliking people because you can't be who they are. There is a subtle difference between spite and envy; jealousy and greed; and between trying and becoming. More oft than not, we mix these things up and the fine gray area in between only becomes wider and we end up mistaking more things for what they are not. It's true that some people may seem so great, so charismatic, so compelling that we wish to be like them - and sometimes, when they prove themselves so...good, we wallow in self-pity, and wish to be them. To have their life. To have the soles of our feet cushioned in their shoes. No one is ever immune from having these thoughts. It's a sign of our being normal. It's a sign of our constant and unconscious desire for better things. This is, of course, a good thing, but when we start to lose sight of our selves; when we begin to dwell in our dreams; when we begin to forget of what's important, it's time to snap out of it. To snap out of our illusions and delusions. Nothing will ever happen if we keep dreaming. Nothing good will ever come out from just thinking of things. If we forget to act in the pursuit of these dreams, then we might as well abandon our individual desire to live better lives.
We might as well lie in bed all day dreaming we're somewhere else, living someone else's life. Why bother leaving the confines of our room if our mind keeps wandering elsewhere? If we wish ourselves to be the best we can be, then we should be the best we can be. What else is there to do? We can't be the best of ourselves if we only think we're the best. It's something we only achieve once we actively strive for it. However, no matter how fanciful our desires become, no matter how perfect them seem, there is no excuse that exists in the world that will allow us to transgress other people. We can't just shove them away if they stand in the way of our dreams. Sometimes, it is best and prudent to go around obstacles. No one has the right to belittle others regardless of one's standing in life. Sure, we can think of ourselves better than others, but that's no reason to be thinking they aren't capable of things on their own. Sure, we can think of ourselves as the most responsible person in existence, but that doesn't mean other people don't have a sense of responsibility. Sure, we can think that we've given the most of what there is to give, but that's no reason to think that other people are incapable of giving things from their person. Sure, we can think that we've sacrificed chances we can never take back, but that's no reason to think others haven't sacrificed something, too. The list of things can go on, but it all boils down to keeping in mind that we're not an island of our own. We're not a treasure trove of goodness. We are our own pandora's box - each with our own share of faults, but beneath the seemingly innumerable negativities, lies something good in each one. Something worth treasuring. Something worth celebrating the mystery of life we're all paragons of.